Love lifted me.
I understand the words now.
In a life of very little kindness
I sought love.
Only finding it when I’d quit looking.
And even ceased to value it.
There it was
In you.
Buoyant in love
I brave stormy seas.
Together we can make it.
No fear of sinking.
Since love lifted me.
A dream I had
As vivid as the day
And with all of me
I held on to it.
For it spoke to a need
I did not understand.
It gave me hope for my life.
And in the supposed future
I’d envisioned,
I was living my fullest life now.
Full of joy,
Peace,
Prosperity,
And
Love.
The dream made me believe
It was possible
And unbeknownst to me
Set me on a course
Of change.
I’ve left behind what was,
Knowing it wasn’t the best,
And knowing things will never be the same
I cannot stop until I achieve it.
I see it in my mind’s eye.
To live a dream is my aspiration.
Faulty or foolhardy, maybe,
But I must try.
Because I’ve seen it,
I can,
I must
Believe it.
-S.T.
Safety
I’ve searched for you
Lifetimes of pining
And wondering if you even exist.
Wandering around dark corridors
And tiptoeing thru rooms of apprehension
Did I belong?
Was I good enough?
Would I be rejected?
And often times was…
Reclusive and different
I fell into the world
And found a sort of safety there.
A safety of low expectations,
And limited judgments.
So I stayed and attempted a life to build.
Each layer of foundation built with sticks
Fell.
Each wall erected for a home to make
Was blown & storm tossed.
Safety, stability, security
Proved an elusive beast to capture.
My hopes and dreams
Built on worldly standards
Proved shaky.
Trading accolades & superiors’ praises
For my self-worth and value.
And when those departed
So did my value of self.
Lost.
Stability
I began accumulating things.
Clothes and shoes and cars…
Such things that filled out lives.
Thinking more equaled a better life.
Thinking myself better off than others.
I had more stuff and managed to maintain it.
Bills paid. Food provided. Plus luxuries.
Added to another month of supposed stability.
Never mind the empty bank account.
And the weeks of struggling until the next pay check.
Knowing and experiencing that any disturbance,
Such as a car crash
Or a loss of wages
Could and would and did
Derail our train.
Reality steps in crushing the façade of stability.
Security
Security found in people
I’d found none.
People change.
Decisions fueled by selfish desires
In the end they searched for the same thing I did.
I could not rest in them.
Without a clear realization
I’d spent a lifetime searching
For a person, place, or thing
That gave me a complete sense of security.
A noun that I could crawl inside
And hide therein
And somehow, finally find rest.
I’ve found in God
My place of safety.
My only security.
And stable ground to stand on.
I’ve found in God
My soul is at rest.
–S.T.
It feels like winter out today.
The season’s confusion is on delay.
I’ve laid waste to bemoaning how I think things should be
And grab hold to what is.
Who I am
Was
and yet to be.
Are in transition.
Beautiful.
Only beauty is beheld
In my transformation.
As I break binds.
Chain links loosed
And felled.
Wings expanse majestic and strong.
Free.
Flying.
Free.
-S.T.
A year in review.
I’ve come to its completion.
Changes abounded
So many I never imagined
And though they be tough
They are leading me
To God’s best for me.
Through the stretching
And the pulling
The pressing
And the beating
I made it.
Not on my own
But his strength upheld me.
His work in me built trust
Increased faith
And caused me to believe
The impossible.
Where to now?
Only God knows.
Anointed for this time.
I rest in him.
Gear up!
Prep time is over.
The year of action is at hand.
Fix your eyes on Him.
Set goals.
Be faithful in discipline.
Don’t back down in adversity.
No one said it would be easy.
But it is possible
As God makes all things possible.
It will be worth it.
You will live your best life yet.
The possibilities…
2016
Begins this week.
What do you hope for?
Where will it take you?
Give.
It will be given to you…
Good measure.
Meaning even when
Limited
Don’t pull back your hand
Don’t withdraw generosity.
And in your need
Without request
Provision will be
Made for you.
Overflow in kindness
Despite your circumstance
And love, mercy, humility, and compassion
Will find you.
It’s not the things.
Although they are good reminders
That you were thought of,
That you are loved.
No, it’s in the moments of gratitude.
In the smiles of appreciation
It’s in the spreading of those
Precipitous moments
That make us realize
There is a God.
And He loves you.
Yes, He is love.
Let’s use this time…
This season…This day…
To help spread the truth
Held in this feeling.
Joy!
The Savior came,
And brought salvation
Here for all!
Rejoice!
A week left in 2015.
I think I’ll start my New year goals early.
Praying.
Seeking His face.
And waiting…
God makes no mistakes.
So before I get ahead of myself
And rush off into my ideas
Of planning my future.
I realize I’m not qualified for that.
So I seek the One who knows
The end from the beginning.
Who wrote all my days down
Before I was born.
Humbled I ask.
Lord, please guide me
And my family
To the life you’ve planned for us
One day at a time.
Stace The Stoic 